Give me Some Room Bachelorette!

"You have a great chance of having a perfect relationship. All it takes is knowing. There's no such thing!" -ihatequotes

I saw this quote on Twitter last Tuesday after watching the "Bachelorette" on Monday night and having the same thought this quote invoked... Soooo, here's my blog about it! ha!

Last Monday during the show one guy on a date with Ashley (I think his name was Ryan? for the remainder of this blog it will be regardless ha!) and something he said really made me think... While Ashley was definitely excited and agreeable to his proposal of wanting to live in a relationship bubble of excitement and emotion I was sitting on my sofa losing my mind, wanting to shake her into reality.  Ryan said he wanted his relationship with his future spouse to be so amazing no one would really understand it but he and his wife would be so "in love" they would just always have this practically alternate universe of euphoric bliss!  Ryan wants some love ecstasy and Ashley is jumping on that train chugging off into a techno-colored sunset... Don't get me wrong here, it is a great idea and I like Ryan (from the edited information I see) but this "great idea" is just that, an idea for fairy tales to be written from.

I'm not being a pessimist about love, just read on... I too want my own Cinderella story with a charming prince to love me in spite of past mistakes, current quirks or future faults!  But as I gain life experience I'm realizing no one is perfect, not even me (surprise surprise!) I realize everyone makes mistakes, everyone hurts people even if they never intended it and everyone has their very own past that creates both good and not-so-good baggage to be carried into a future relationship. 

Ecstasy  means 'to stand outside the ordinary self' and that's not what I want at all... I don't think it's what anyone truly wants if time is taken to actually think it through...  I want someone to be real with me, to be ordinary with me (you know sit down on the sofa and just veg in our jammies or walk downtown for no particular reason) because (and I know this is SHOCKING! ha!) I am not extraordinary in every area... Although I will give myself a bit of credit here and say I am a pretty darn great catch :o) mainly because I try. 

When I think about what's actually important in life I think about honesty, compassion, kindness, support, love, understanding, empathy and patience.  I do not think about rainbows, dashing good looks (although it's a good plus haha!) smiles at all times, a horse with a brilliant mane trotting off into the sunset with us in tow!  I want what's real; to see someone have a bad day and cheer him up!  I want him to see me upset and still think I'm beautiful... (Instead of being like Bentley from the Bachelorette saying how unattractive crying is and he was hating being stuck there with Ashley being upset but to her face he acted like he was in love... JERK!) I want him to be able to tell me when I'm out of line but still love me and be kind during the process.  I want to have room to breathe and make a couple of mistakes without knocking us "out of love" and I want to give the same in return.

In any relationship whether it be familial, friendship or love relationship we need to "give some room" for people to make mistakes and recover from them within the bounds of our acceptance!  Listen honey, you're not perfect and neither am I, I will make you angry with my opinion on some issue and I'm sure you will make me angry with one or two yourself so give me some room and I'll do the same for you.  Be practical, at least in your expectation for a relationship, if you expect me to make a mistake and decide in advance it's not going to ruin us and I do the same for my own expectations but neither make a mistake what harm would that do? We would just reach a higher level of ecstasy and be able to look down from our mansion in the clouds of fantasy at Ryan and Ashley laughing at their mere little love shack! ha!