Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Things I learned from Big Eyes: Vision

As you all know, I had a scare with my vision this year... When I woke up one Saturday morning not being able to see out of my right eye. I've now been through a few appointments with Specialists and my family doctor... And it looks like it was just a virus that caused the vision impairment. AND, I can see clearly now. I did, however, get lots of time to think, and I did learn a lot that I think can be applied in speaking of life vision, vision for your future, Spiritual vision, and probably any other sort of vision you can think of.

My pupils after some testing at my last specialist appointment.

Vision effects a lot more than what you see...

1)  When you can't see properly, you can't move around with ease, you bump into things.  You can be as careful and slow moving as you want but chances are you're not going to see that corner or even if you do see it your when your depth perception is off you're going to still get hurt. I had a bruise on my knee for weeks all because I bent down too close to a door frame... I saw the door frame, knew it was there, even had the thought it would hurt me if I hit it; none of those thoughts did me one ounce of good because I didn't see that I was too close... Don't get too close to the edge of a bad decision; if you know the outcome is pain for you or others, if you know it's wrong for you, don't get close, don't get curious, stay smart, stay back from that line... Most times in life, we don't have good depth perception in those areas, somehow by us knowing the outcome can be disastrous we think we are smarter and we won't get that far into it, not too close to the edge, we just have to satisfy the curiosity and then we will course correct back to safety. How many times do we see others get hurt thinking the same thing? Learn to just listen to the first thought, when we have that thought of "this could hurt," stay away?  On the flip side, don't get so close to something good that you miss something great!

It's not that we can't course correct, we do it all the time... And I know it makes it tempting to just check it out, get close just close enough BUT trust me, our depth perception is not good enough to know what "close enough/not too close" is.  Let me tell you, once I hurt my knee there was a week of not walking right! I knew my depth perception was off at that point and I course corrected so I didn't get hurt the next time, I stayed back far enough the next time, but only after I got hurt and walked with a limp.

2) Limited vision limits your actions. No one told me I couldn't or shouldn't work or drive for a week while I couldn't see out of my right eye... I did ask the specialist and she said it wouldn't necessarily change the outcome of my healing process but that it may cause headaches and a few other irritations... First of all, when it comes to my vision's healing outcome, let's go on more than "won't necessarily hinder..." Second, you don't have to take my licence away for me to know that driving with no peripheral vision is NOT a good idea for me... No one is going to stop me but the vehicle I don't see speeding from my right side may stop more than my car. Thanks, but no thanks. It's like that in life, when we can't see properly we risk an accident. I know sometimes in life it's about trusting God an moving forward, but if you don't have vision through the Word of God, you're most likely supposed to stay put until you know what direction to take.

3)  Not being able to see properly is scary, especially when you don't know how permanent your vision loss will be... I started to think of all the things I see that I take for granted... There are so many things I would miss if I could never see them again. I LOVE the little things, seeing a bunny hopping along the ditch, seeing deer on the golf course, seeing people's faces and expressions, colors, sunsets... So many things... I couldn't read my Bible in the morning or before bed like usual and I started thinking of the days I skipped because I was tired or in a rush and I started wishing I could get those days back. Why would I decide not to do something good just because I didn't feel like it or I was in a rush, why would I put something so important off? And I learned something... If you can, then do! Whatever it is, if it is important to you, if it is a habit, it is a habit for a reason, keep doing it even if you don't feel like it. I know it seems small when you think, she could listen to an audio, but trust me, it doesn't feel the same when you're forced to listen to audio, when something you take for granted is taken from you, it's missed and replacement is not the go-to method for a reason, it's not the same... It's good but not great.

4) You don't have to experience total vision loss to be limited and bound.  I could see, not completely, not clearly, but I could see... There was lots I could still do, but it wasn't what I usually do, it wasn't complete and in a lot of cases it was less than what I wanted because I wasn't whole.  My vision issue only affected one eye, but my vision issue limited nearly everything I did. Sometimes I think we know there's something we should work on, something that would push us to a better place, but it's a small issue, it's not something we NEED to fix, just sort of a benefit, an add on... You know the phrase "it would be nice, it's not a deal breaker if I don't have it..." But when it comes to those things why settle for less? If you can change, grow, become better, why stay limited? If you know to so good and don't what is that?  Or even if you just procrastinate the change, why? What is the point in that (and trust me, I'm preaching to myself right now) what good does it do you to know "this will make me better" to only know and not do?

I'm sure there's more I could write, and maybe someday, but for now this seems enough... Let's work on these four things:

  • Know our depth perception is off, don't get too close to things we should, or to things that are good but not best the enemy of great isn't bad, it's good. That's because we tend to settle for good and miss the great.
  • If you can't see where you're going, stop! It's okay to wait, to take a break, in fact, it's probably exactly what you should be doing! Don't let the pressure of a made-up timeline lead you to choose a wrong path.
  • Enjoy life. Take some time to think of all the things you love that you may take for granted. All the things that make things easy for you now that you could lose... And if they are people tell them you value them, if it is the bunny in the ditch, thank God you can see it. Whatever it is, appreciate it.
  • Be aware of the small changes in your vision... If you are losing vision for your future, limit yourself, take a time out and get inspired again. Encourage yourself. Don't make life-decisions if you can't see properly. And if you have a friend who seems to be losing vision, HELP THEM through encouragement and companionship.