Thursday, November 28, 2013

Christmas & a Leap of Faith

Hi lovelies... Happy Thanksgiving to all of my wonderful American friends, family & readers! Can you believe Sunday is December 1st!?  I am so not ready for Christmas, but it's coming anyway... And even though I have much shopping to do and no list made I am loving the season. The trees (yes, trees... 4 actually but not full sized! Don't judge, hah!) are up, Christmas music in the office and Christmas movies galore. There is something so cozy about it all that I can't resist! 

One of the movies I watched this week was called "Trading Christmas" it was a house swap story, typical everyone falls in love in the end, heart-warming Christmas theme... But there was something that struck me about it.  There were two people (soon to be couple) who had very different stories but both with the same result... One was a teacher, she loved to read about places to travel but never traveled... She and her, now deceased, husband always planned to travel during retirement but he never made it that far... And a man who traveled frequently to beautiful places for work but never took any time to experience the beauty of the place he was in... Blah, blah, blah... They both decided it was time to experience life and took a step forward. Great! Yay, good for them! Now, it may not be in travel but we all need to look at the areas in our lives we want to experience and then make a plan, take the necessary steps and EXPERIENCE THEM! Stop wasting time! Get to it!
Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life!
Tiptoe if you have to but take the step! - Unknown

I know it can be a scary thing to let go of what is familiar and comfortable for you... Trust me, I know that better than most, but like a child if we never let go we will never find out if we can take a step.  Don't allow hurt to restrain your dreams, hurt is meant to teach us, it's meant to create something new, something soft and kind within us. "I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born. Says The Lord." - Isaiah 66:9 (NIV).  I saw a quote a while ago that I think can mean a few things but it can apply here "Never let your feelings get in the way of seeing things as they truly are." - Unknown. On the surface this quote is most likely speaking of not allowing your heart to cloud your head when it's time to let someone go but your heart may also cloud your mind and stop you from moving forward... Don't allow that to happen, don't let fear (which is just a feeling by the way) get in the way of you taking a step forward into a better future! 

If you never go after what you want you'll never have it. 
If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
If you never take a step you will always be in the same place. - Unknown.

So here is my proposal, since it will officially be the Holiday Season starting Sunday take December and relish it! Be with family and friends, be cozy and comfortable, love, relax, be thankful and thoughtful... And take some time for yourself, take time to think of the things in your life that have been great this year, think about your achievements, your happiness... Take time to think about the hurt you've overcome, the people who are no longer part of your life and the footprints they've left behind. Once you've pondered the year past, think about what you want to change this year, what you can do this year coming to make it better than the last, what you can do to make yourself a better person in the year to come... Think about the chances you didn't take in the past and take them this year. Yes, use Christmas as a comfort and find your joy but also use it as a spring board into a fabulous future! 

                                               - Margaret Shepard

Thursday, November 21, 2013

'Tis the Season... Be Care Full

Hey guys, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to write to you about today... I had an idea earlier in the week and I think that's what I'll stick to, give some other thoughts a while to settle?  Anyway, as you are aware I frequently write about helping others, about reaching to the people around you, caring for people you see with random acts of kindness... Tell someone you love that you care, make sure they know! 

Something you may or may not know of me is that I'm quite hard on myself... My thoughts are often along the "you could have done much better with that situation" or "why didn't you think to say..." even "well you're a disappointment.." and I actually can find humor in it... But I was listening to the radio the other day and realized I was listening to someone else encourage me but David encouraged  himself in the Lord... So I've been doing something wrong all along...

Helping others is very important and will remain at the forefront of my thoughts (and I hope yours as well, especially throughout the Holiday season... Yes, we are there.) but I must also help myself... Help myself by looking at some of the things I do well. I muse encourage myself on a bad day.  I need to be keeping my thoughts positive, not only about the people around me but about myself... And I am assuming by now you know you must do the same and I am not speaking to myself only.  I know there seems to be a fine line and no one wants to be considered selfish or self-centered or cocky... But the line isn't really that thin at all... In fact, there may not be a line, maybe it's just something we've made up and the true guide is only to both care for others and yourself.

If you're always pouring yourself out into others and making their lives better while you continually think you're not enough, then you can't be... You will never become enough in your eyes and therefor not in the eyes of anyone else if you're always pointing out your own shortcomings and never considering the things you're awesome for!  It's okay, and I would venture to say healthy to be self aware enough to notice some things that could use improvement but if you're always dwelling on the negative you'll end up wondering you would even try to improve such a mess... And that's just crazy! There are not many people any of us would relegate to the "non reformable" (yes, I just made up a word!) pile but somehow we land our own self image there easily. I guess all I'm saying is give yourself the same benefit you would give anyone else and lighten up, you're not that bad!

During this season of buying, giving, smiling, hugging and loving, don't forget to do the same for yourself... Get a hot chocolate, give yourself some time, smile on the inside and learn to love yourself for who you are instead of hating yourself for who you've not yet become.

... David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. 1 Samuel 30:6

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Royals... You can call me Queen Bee (Lady Secrets)

And we'll never be royals (royals)... It don't run in our blood, that kind of lux just ain't for us, we crave a different kind of buzz...  Let me be your ruler (ruler).  You can call me queen Bee and baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule. Let me live that fantasy... *record scratching to a stop sound*  Wait a minute... Yes, I like the song I hear at work almost everyday but I'm still an "old fashioned' kind of lady...

I'm strong, I'm stable, I've got my own career and money, I've got my own home, my own vehicle, puppy & kitty, I'm involved in my church within a few different ministries with dreams of much more... I've done pretty well at "ruling" my own life with direction from God but there's one thing I don't want... To be your ruler! I mean, don't get me wrong, I will not be ruled by you either. I want you to listen to what I have to say, you better listen... I want you to be strong, stable, have your own career & money, home - or at least pay rent, no furniture box living thank you,- vehicle - okay, if you're totally into it for the health benefits bicycle, ha! - pet(s) - this one actually isn't required but it will make me like you more, - relationship with God and involvement in your local church - if not, you're never going to understand me, - dreams... And I want to pile all of mine and your's together but I don't want to rule you, whoever you are.

Yes, call me "queen bee" if you want to, even treat me like your queen but don't expect me to rule... It's a partnership, and not of two, of three. You, me and Jesus. You see, I'm capable of ruling, that's not the issue, but I do not desire to rule you.  I can be a leader in a home when you need me, but please, you be the primary leader.  I do have my own relationship with God but I want your relationship with Him to inspire me into closer relationship, I want you to read scripture with me, pray with me and fast with me. 

Listen, this isn't just for my future man, I've had many discussions this fall with other ladies who feel the same way... Yes, we like equality, we like the vote, we are independent but we still want a man, not a child.  We are not going to chase one down; really, if we have to do the chasing that pretty much tells us you can't be the man we are looking for anyway.  No matter how much we think there is potential, no matter how hot we think you are, we are most likely not going to approach you... Yes, we will find every person we know and chat with them before we leave hoping you will come to us but if you don't we will just walk out and not look up... Even when we talk ourselves up before seeing you "okay, I'm going to make eye contact and hold it and flash my prettiest smile this time... I can do this... It's nothing... I can..." we usually won't follow through, after all, we don't need a man and we must not look desperate, because no matter how liberated we are, we still get talked about if we go after a man.  So, between the fear of being talked about, the old fashioned dreams of a guy actually walking up to us to talk (how unimaginable that a free woman would still want that, right?) and the knowledge that if a man can't buck up and approach us first he's probably not a man yet anyway, we just act shy... Funny? Yes. Sad? yes. Reality of really great ladies? Definitely.

Listen, insecurities plague us all but let me give you one more inside scoop to help you out... We don't want the whole world... Women know our own flaws and don't expect perfection from men. I know some people say we do because our expectations are driven up by fairy tales, romance novels and movies but that's not entirely true... We know we don't have a fairy godmother, we know you're most likely not going to look like Fabio with your shirt off (and you better not have the same hair do) and we understand there's not really going to be an angel choir following us around every time we see you... But we do expect the same respect as we see and read, we do want to be loved by you and we do want you to have confidence enough to show us you like us... What are we really looking for in a man? Goodness, that's really what matters, if you're nice to people (even the incompetent waiter...) if you care for your family and if you help a stranger... It's not a lot, it's not difficult and ANYONE can be what we are looking for... Most women aren't specifically looking so much at the package the good heart comes in, they're just after the heart.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this really, I suppose partially hoping my future buck will read it and approach me but mostly because now I know that there are lots of amazing ladies out there just like me that deserve some of you amazing Christian men to put your big boy pants on and say "hello..." I mean seriously, it's not that difficult guys, it only takes one sentence to start... I know it can be scary, no one, not even a big, strong man wants to face rejection, but this isn't junior high anymore either, and if a girl snubs you or laughs with her friends when you walk away, she's just that a girl stuck in junior high actions and you want a lady anyway, right?  And if you're confused on that answer it was rhetorical anyway, you do want a lady, you want someone who is kind, who can support you when you need someone, who can encourage you and help you go after your dreams... Trust me, I was a girl for a long time before becoming a woman... You want a lady and if you're stumped, ask me, I know lots of wonderful ladies in a lot of places who are ready to meet a good man! ha!

I know this is not my usual type of post but sometimes I really think this sort of thing is necessary and this is one of those times. So back to normal next week (maybe! ha!) and in the meantime share this with any man you know who is single, trust me, he needs it <3 br="">

Thursday, November 7, 2013

So you had a bad day?

Hi honeys,  I keep not writing what I have planned for you all since being in Louisiana and today is no exception... Just a little bite of reality for today I think. Sometimes I'm guilty of faking it, you know, " how are you today?" Ummm, honestly? Nah... "Oh fab! And you." Meanwhile it's all I can do not to yell "today is sucky," go home, get in my pjs, cuddle with the pup and eat a whole pizza, ha.

Usually it's good to fake it when you're having a bad day... Not everyone needs to know, not even everyone on Facebook, ha! The thing is, we sometimes, while faking it, forget that it's okay to be honest with ourselves and God.  He knows anyway right, but here's the thing, when you're in a relationship where you actually care for someone you want them to share the good and the bad, as much as you don't want a complainer 24/7 you do want them to trust you enough and to trust your love enough to let you know when they're unhappy and what's made them that way... Even if you can't help. And the plus about God, he can always help!

Somehow we've bought into the lie that if we've had a bad day we are just not a mature Christian... Seriously? I mean yes, we should try our best to keep a positive outlook and keep both our eyes and chin up... Up to where our help comes from... Don't forget the simple lesson we teach children as soon as we can, "you can't be positive and happy if you bottle all the bad feelings inside." Yes, there's a time and place but what better time and place that with God and ourselves? You're not a bad Christian, even the bible says you can be angry but just without wrath... Don't take it out on everyone round you but it's natural to be mad, sad, annoyed and glad, just don't camp in the bad spots.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help! Psalm 121:1

So, you had a bad day? We'll join the club and talk to Jesus. It may not melt all the bad away but it will give you something else to think about, you'll find comfort and perspective. Listen, we all have those days we'd rather forget, whether it's our mistakes that lead us down the path or not, we have them... Again, just don't camp there. And one last thing to remember, Jesus saw so much value in you that he gave everything for you and he would do it again in a second so you can't be that bad... You're awesome, bad day or not!