"I'm about to lose my mind
you've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time...
doubt starting to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black
Hope - I just need a ray of that...
and I don't know if I was awake or asleep
when I wrote this,"
I know I have my days when I can relate to every word of the song above... Those days when everything just seems to go wrong. After a couple of things go wrong I just lose something, I start to doubt the day can even turn around and everything is tainted with the darkness of my expectance things are just going to keep going wrong... But I wonder if it's partially my mindset that stops the day from turning out for the good...
I'm not one of the "name it and claim it" types... Or as my pastor, Raymond Woodward, would so delicately put it "blab it and grab it!" haha! But I definitely believe in some ways we get what we expect, not because our expectations change the people and world around us but it does change our outlook on the people and world around us. It's sort of like when you buy that car you think is so unique in that color and the week after you drive it off the lot there are 5000 more just like it... It's not that everyone bought the same color and type of car as you did in the same week you bought it... You're just aware, you're outlook is different and you are paying attention to those cars as they pass by now.
My point is two fold, one portion is you need to change your outlook... Not that you are automatically going to become a "super smiler" or anything but maybe next time you're having one of those "bad days" and you catch yourself just expecting something bad to happen next you will be able to think yourself out of it... Even convince yourself that your day doesn't have to continue down the toilet drain. And the second part, is just to remind you that things can change on a dime, your day can turn around in one second... Through God.
God isn't your piggy bank and you shouldn't treat him as such... He's not a slave to run at your every request and He's not going to just give you everything you ask for. God is your father and He doesn't want one of those annoying, little, spoiled brat, tantrum throwing kids and let's face it, we all know those people who get everything handed to them on a silver platter have a hard time staying away from the "spoiled brat" attitude and actions. But as your father, God will help you grow and change your outlook through reminding you to keep your eyes and thoughts directed on the correct thing... HIM!
I suppose it comes down to trust, if you direct your outlook (or change from an "inlook" mentality of self-centeredness... Always looking at and caring about yourself... Which by the way can be just as much harmful when it's a pity party as when it is a puffed up opinion of self) to God and trust that He will look after you as He promises then you can look forward to when He's going to do next to support and help you! "Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good..." Genesis 50:20. Nothing and no one can change the good God has planned for you but He can change the evil planned against you to good! "You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough!" Psalm 30:10-12. I know that one is a bit extreem for what we're talking about here but that's kind of the point, if He can fix something extreem then why are we not already trusting in Him to take care of us!?
And just one more quote I saw on Twitter yesterday from Kirk Franklin (who we all know is pretty much in my top 5 favorite people of the world!) "my friend's little boy was in bad pain the other day. they took him to the doctor and he told them "he's going through growing pains" the pain was because of his growth..what more can I say..? REJOICE! God is taking you higher. and the pain is there to prove it!" If nothing else, bare the pain knowing it just means GROWTH and no one wants to be stuntted, growth is good!