Monday, April 4, 2016

You're just too... Something.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and today and caught something in conversation... I've heard it before and talked about it before but I'm not so sure I've written about it before... Now, let me start by saying this came out of a conversation with one of my single lady friends and is mostly based around that time in life because, well let's face it, that's the time in life I have most experience in, BUT this can and should be applied to many areas in life... When you're married and getting the baby questions and comments all the time, when you're applying to colleges or workplaces and seem to be spinning your tires, when you're trying to decide what to do after retirement; so please, whatever stage you're in give this little post a chance to work your mind over just a bit!

We've all heard it "you're too picky, no one is perfect" or "you've got your life too together, maybe that scares guys off because you don't need them" or "you're so confident, maybe guys just think you're not interested" or "you're too pretty, maybe guys are just afraid to approach you." Hold on a minute! First of all, we all know there's no perfect people, I mean the closest you get is me and even I have a flaw or two. Haha, Lord forgive me for that one, we all know these blog posts are my confessional of shortcomings. But seriously, newsflash, we are not supposed to need someone, we are only supposed to need God, and if that's not the case things are out of balance, we've forgotten there is only one need and many wants..  I can only imagine what you married couples hear "you're having too much fun to be parents now!" or "you're growing as a couple, maybe God is just holding back for a while.." and who knows what other nonsense you hear.  There's so much I could say but I will leave it at maybe people should mind their own business.  Okay, too harsh... Hmmm... Maybe we all should remember that sometimes intention doesn't matter. I know, I know, we are taught intention and motive is all that matters but that has unfortunately become an excuse to say anything these days and cover it up with a flower of intent, but if you give me a bag of manure with a daisy on top, it's still stinks.

To the commentators:  Go ahead encourage each other and uplift where you can, but stop with offering explanations on why things don't happen in our own timing or as we plan, they just don't because our timing is different than God's timing. "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." 2 Peter 3:8. God doesn't need for you to explain on his behalf (unless you're asked maybe, even then, tread lightly.) He does talk to us about our situations, trust me, we think and pray enough about it that God isn't just ignoring us or thinking it's funny to make us wait, the truth is He most likely has many reasons but if we are paying attention to the patterns of what He is working with us on, we can figure it out, that's how we learn to listen to His voice and follow His guidance and that is something we all must learn for ourselves.

To the waiters:  I know it's not easy most of time time, I will most likely need this blog post for myself before the week is out.. But there are some things I need to say to you and to myself about this whole "why has nothing gone as planned in my life" thing.. I know we all ask variations of the same question "Why am I stuck here?" "What am I doing wrong?" "Why them and not me?" The liberating and frustrating truth is, we all have a different path, we all learn differently and we all need different experiences to teach us similar lessons.  I know, that is not what any of us want to hear and it's not even really an answer to anything but it is how life works, and it is how God works.

Something else I want us to know is we are NOT TOO anything! I know people have the best of intentions when they say their "too" comments but we have an amazing ability to get alone and turn those comments meant to ease our mind into flaws we must overcome.  The truth is you're not too pretty, accomplished, smart, funny, outgoing, intimidating or anything else for the right person, you have friends don't you? Well, your friends are there because you are just enough of all the right stuff for them and whatever you are waiting on to happen in your life will recognize all of those things as well.  We can only get what is right for us by being true to ourselves and to God. Yes, there are things we all need work on and don't stop but don't be guided by misinformation from good intended commentators, just don't. If you are open and willing when it comes to growth and correction of self you will grow and correct automatically, read the Word if you want to find things to work on, there's lots of direction on the pages.  Seriously, think with me for a moment, think about your closest friends/family... Are they perfect? Are there things you don't necessarily love about them? Anything you'd like for them to change? OF COURSE! Do you love them anyway and accept them as they are? YES! Why? Because they are still enough, because the good far outweighs the bad, because they at some point have been exactly what you needed in your life and because of that you look beyond the things you would change.. So, let's be logical here, the same will apply to that person who you are waiting for, that job you're meant to rule, those fishing trips you're still vigorous enough to want to take in retirement. Don't let anyone (including me) tell you how or who you need to be, what you need to damper if you're to reach a goal, that you should hold back some piece of who you are... No, no, no, that's exactly what you must do!

Lastly, let's really think about where we are in life for a moment.. Let's think back over choices and look over the years from this vantage point... They always say looking back is 20/20, so, what do you see? Over all, is there anything you feel shifted you way off course to the point you didn't get back or can you see that even through the bad there are strands of goodness through lessons learned, strength gained, compassion realized and forgiveness given?  In most cases, although I hate to admit it because somehow it feels I may entice more difficulties, I can honestly say my life has been guided, I have made mistakes I regret often but even out of those dark decisions a light pierced through.. I can look back and see that in spite of myself, in spite of bad situations, in spite of other people's choices that effected my life, and in spite that I'm not exactly where I want to be, I am where I need to be and where God intends me to be and so are you!  We are not too much of anything, we are exactly enough. We must learn to trust the process because it's God who takes us on this journey. 

In case you're wanting some back-up to what I am saying here, there's lots below:

For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. Psalm 84:00 (NLT)

We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer. Proverbs 16:1 (NLT)

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

Jesus replied, "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching..." John 14:23 (NIV)

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." John 14:15 (ESV)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

Do you love Him? Does he know it through your every day life, prayer and decisions? Are you reading His Word and trusting Him? If you can answer yes to these questions then you are exactly where you need to be and it's not a matter of you being too much of anything or not enough, it's not about who is already enjoying the benefits of whatever it is you're still hoping and waiting for, it's about timing, God's timing. None of us want to wait but much like Christmas time, your promise is coming and even more like Christmas presents, when the day finally comes and you get what you want, that wait will seem short in comparison to the excitement and joy of receiving!