Beating the Bitty

I've always been a little self conscious... Always wanted to be liked by everyone around me. I am also an analytical mind; something I usually take pride in... But when applied to other people and what they are thinking has given me a lot of wrong impressions, unnecessary question of intention and caused needless fracture of relationship... I understand that some relationships are not meant to last and some intentions must be questioned. The problem with what I was doing is not the act of analysing in itself but the timing and object of analysis. But I'm learning and changing... Saving myself heartache and hopefully, through this blog I'll get to pay it forward.

I'm learning to stop analyzing the look on a face, stop trying to figure out what the whispers in the corner are about and more importantly, not allowing myself the thought those whispers are about me... I know, I know, in some cases those looks are rude, and those whispers are in fact biting but lesson is not "ignoring an idiot." The lesson is, while realizing the offending party may very well be aware their actions make me feel insignificant and those two gossiping in the corner may be speaking negatively about my weakness I think I hide so well, I also must realize the look down the nose only makes the offending person seem snotty to others and those gossips are just that, gossips.  Understanding that if not now, soon everyone will come to see that gossips only have negative to speak about everything and everyone and their biting words will become worthless on all counts. I'm not saying you will that initial sensation of hurt won't present itself strong in the moment but you must learn to reject those feelings "Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears." Marcus Aurelius, as tweeted by Philo_Quotes. 

My paraphrase: it will hurt you when you hear, see or assume an offence has been made against you, your character or your dream but reject that hurt, don't allow yourself to dwell on that feeling find something good to think on until that pain fades.

Paul the Apostle's paraphrase: "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

Paul adds something that I would also like to touch on... Revising my own paraphrase: ALLOW God to take care of any false words that bring you down in the sight of others... Remember, if you're faithfully following the Word of God and you are pouring yourself out for the good of the Gospel God has committed himself to backing you up, so just let him!  Undoubtedly there is someone reading these words thinking "well, I try to follow God but I screw up so this doesn't apply to me."  Don't be silly, we all make mistakes... Even the apostles made mistakes (Peter denied even knowing Jesus three times in one night!) Repent (which is confessing the sin to God.. But not confession only, a turn in action... STOP making the same "mistakes" over and over again, it's only a mistake until it becomes a habit... Don't let it get that far.) And once you've changed your direction, don't continue to beat yourself up about your error remember: "Your life can be under construction & still be a marvel to behold!"  TheSingleWoman

So all in all, I just want you all to follow my lead into an easier life!  Think better about others, try to stop yourself from assuming every dirty look is intentional (some people just carry a sour-puss look all the time haha!) lastly, don't allow yourself to believe the gossip in the corner is about you just because the old (or young) bitty is starring you down... IF you just can't curb the assumption/knowledge the look and/or words are directed at you, just remind yourself the conversation/look will turn to the next person who walks by and the next after that... A gossip is a gossip and a sour-puss will be bitter to everyone... The offences are not about the target of conversation or glare but about the disease of dissatisfaction running ramped inside the offender's heart. Reject the hurt you feel in the moment and replace it with confidence in God backing up your loyalty to Him!  I'm reminded of a song my uncle, Lloyd, wrote for his new CD (which I was privileged to hear prior to the release date.) One particular line in the song I've mentioned says "I'll be loyal to the royal in me!"  God lives INSIDE the heart of his followers! It's not just being loyal to some pie-in-the-sky idea, it's being a part of a royal family, having royal blood coursing through your veins... If you're loyal to the family you are protected by that loyalty! So, step out from under the clouds of analytical assumption and pain and into the blessing of peace!