Edward Cullen, Gilbert Blyth, Bingley, Jack Dawson, Johnny Castle, Noah Calhoun and Derrick Sheppard... To name a few of the men that women seem to swoon over. (Guys, if you don't know who they are you should google them to figure it out, that might give you something to learn from)... But why is it women love these men? It's not because they are all rich, extraordinary or even handsome.. I know the guys, if they know about the men above, are thinking something along the lines of "yeh, that's a dream, I'm a real man. Try finding that in the real world, I can't measure up to those expectations." But I think you can and I'm going to explain how ANY GUY can be even better than the names above (ya'll grab a note book and pencil, you're about to get some schooling!)
HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE! There is nothing more hot (in my opinion) then when a man knows he's a good person and believes that enough to just walk up and say "hi" talk a bit and ask for your number. No cheesy pick-up lines required, just confidence.. You can fake it by the way, and don't just be confident with us, practice on other people... Seriously, sounds silly but it will work start with making eye contact (not for too long or you'll get creepy ha!) with a stranger or smiling at people when you walk by them, even a hello... Then practice saying something to someone around you that you haven't met, if you're in line somewhere figure out something to say maybe about the staff there or even ask for the time if there's not a huge watch on your wrist... Eventually you will get more comfortable and comfort is confidence.. So learn to be comfortable with who you are and believe you have something to offer people, that you're a good person (and a good catch) and know that people in general will appreciate a kind word and want to know someone like you, then open the door for that to happen. WARNING: Don't get confused, confidence is not a synonym for cocky!! It's cute when a guy is cocky before a football game; not so much when that bleeds into every aspect of his conversations... And we can quickly tell the difference.
Reminder: If you are interested in getting to know a girl more than you do at this moment, that's enough to ask her to meet you somewhere for coffee or to help you pick out a gift for a party to get time to talk to her.. There are a lot of things you could come up with that wouldn't necessarily be considered as a date... Then after one meet if you still think you want to know more figure out something else to do, eventually you will know if you want to date her and it's not a marriage proposal so it's OK to ask her to hang out before you know you're in love!
PERSONAL HYGIENE... I know there are probably a couple of chuckles going on right now, but really, we all know this is an important subject. Wash an comb your hair, make sure your face has been washed before you leave your house, teeth brushed and no clues of last-nights supper remaining... You don't have to be super GQ and have an amazing knowledge of style, just clean. If you're looking for a tip on style, look at Clinton from "what not to wear" he is dressed well enough for a date anywhere but don't be too concerned, most girls don't mind a ripped pair of jeans and hoodie... In fact, some of us kind of like it from time to time. For a date, a colored shirt (the untucked, casual kind) and crisp pair of jeans with shoes not sneakers would do smashingly!
HAVE A JOB!! This one is pretty self explanatory but a good woman doesn't want to support her man.. If I am going to work every day you better be, and if you're not, you're not ready for a good woman anyway... Laziness has never been on the list of things any of my friends looks for in a guy.
MIND YOUR MANNERS! This doesn't mean you have to know which of the 3 forks you're given at a fancy restaurant to use for your salad... It means, don't belch or expel any other bodily gas in my presence for at least the first couple of months ha. Hold the mall door for the person behind you even if it is a guy your age... Maybe even open the door for me, I know, that's old school and we are equal now blah, blah, blah, but if a woman is confident about she probably won't slap you ha! Having manners is really just being courteous to others, you know, please and thank yous along with the other lessons your parents taught you before grade one.
RESPECT OTHERS! OK, there's a lot to be said for a guy who is genuinely nice! It's not a weakness to be cool with walking away from some crazy who is being ignorant to you rather than yelling in their face for an hour wasting time we could be spending getting to know each other. I know you're supposed to be strong and manly, but have you ever heard of the strong, silent type? It's OK to just ignore idiots and not let them get to you so much that they ruin any part of an evening. Remember something for me: Girls know all couples argue treat others is how we think we will be treated, only probably a little worse. If you are respectful of other people (and don't forget about respecting yourself) we will trust you to be respectful of us... The more you respect a woman the more she will open up to you. The old adage about watching how a man treats his mom is true, and we all do watch that so work on your relationship with your mum too!
BE A MAN! No that doesn't mean lumberjack but I don't want to have to hold your hand because you're scared of the boogie man in the movie... I don't want you to know more about the perfume I am wearing and who made it than I do, just that it smells great! You can compliment me on my outfit (better yet and not as expected, my shoes) just don't know (or at least don't let me know you know) whether or not they are Prada or Gucci ha! I fish and used to sit in the garage for hours with my dad and grampy working on cars, I don't like it when I break a nail but I'm not oblivious either, I do want you to know at least more than I do about something considered to be "typical man knowledge".
BE FUN!! When you finally do get the confidence to ask a girl to go do something with you some night, make sure you don't complain the whole time... We don't mind encouraging you on a bad day or letting you vent about stupid people every once in a while but we don't want to feel like we are your therapist either... We should be coming home and finding it hard to sleep because we are still excited about the great time we had with you and be trying to slow the thoughts about how funny and nice you are not passing out half way through our favorite TV show because you've worn our brain out trying to talk you through every one of your life issues. We do care about and want you to share the things that bother you but probably not until we actually have a relationship built and even then not every day... It gets too negative and eventually that negativity is linked with a relationship with you in our brain... I don't really think there is any coming back out of that once you're in that black hole.
BE COMMITTED!! No, no... I'm not talking about to us at this point... But to something, if we see that you are committed to your friendships or some sort of sport, your family, something, it just makes you look better in our eyes when you can be serious enough about something to be there... Whether it's for people you care about or making it to all your games (even better a game you promised your little cousin, niece or nephew you would make it to), we want to see that you can make it happen if you really want to. That will most likely buy you some brownie points and time when it comes to not being so sure about the relationship with the girl... We understand things take time and we probably aren't sure about you yet either, so relax.
COMMUNICATE!! One thing girls are pretty good at is communicating, usually it's with words... We will probably never understand why you don't communicate... We know you like to hold it all in and hope the problems or concerns you have with us go away on their own, but that rarely happens... I know I just told you I don't want to be your therapist and that's true but if you really want to show a woman you care talk to her about any issues you have with regards to her and your potential relationship, if you're not being a jerk about it, we will most likely want to work on it and try to make it better for both of us. We know you don't like to talk for hours and that's OK, just talk to us about something important to you, that will make us feel important to you as well. It's uncomfortable to talk to anyone about something you're not satisfied with when it is regarding that person but if you actually look at the relationships in your life that are successful (even the ones with your buddies) it's because somehow you do let them know when something is up and it gets fixed.
THE ROMANCE... This is the scary part for the male readers, but it shouldn't be... I'm about to tell you how to make it easy! Most every lady I know likes the romance from the movies but we aren't necessarily expecting it.. We know you don't have millions of dollars to lavish us with expensive jewelry, trips or extravagant date nights.. We understand that not all of you can write a song to serenade us with, a poem for every day of the week to confess your undying devotion or act a fool in front of the whole City at the next concert jumping onto the stage to scream a proposal... I would even venture to say that sort of thing may embarrass most of us.. So what can you do without losing your wallet or manly edge? Just show us you're thinking about us through a text or note left on our door.. Take us to your place for a home cooked meal (spaghetti is pretty cheap you know) and movie night for a date.. Make a card and a mixed CD of songs you know we like for our birthday... I once heard a Doctor say "study each other" when he was telling a couple how to improve every aspect of their relationship and it got me thinking; how true is it that if a guy would just care enough to learn (and continue learning about you) and pay attention to the things you like you would just love him! Seriously, buy a girl a pack of the brand of gum she chews next time you bought some for yourself, it's little and stupid but we realize the little things mean you're paying attention and we like that, those little things will create a huge payoff for you... Just because you're already dating or married doesn't mean you have learned everything there is to know about someone or you have a free pass to stop paying attention.
So take this into consideration and let me know what happens, eh!? (I meant to be really Canadian sounding there)
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