Thursday, April 19, 2012

Fear of Commitment

I've had this problem that has plagued me all my life... I can't seem to get away from it or the people who seem to bring it to my attention...  I've tried to stop it, work on it, change it...  It's so hard to be broken, such a strong fear... A fear of commitment.  Not a fear of commitment like you may think of in the traditional sense. I'm actually not even talking about my own fear, although, I have to admit, I've fought the same fear.

I have to give in to the fact that love is scary... It's everything  you've always wanted but it's so hard to just let go and be vulnerable to it. It's hard to choose one path above another, I mean, what if you miss out on something great, right? Is it commitment or settling? I know this is the "right one" but do I want that kind of commitment now? Shouldn't I just let go and have fun now and commit later? Ummm... No, commitment, ALWAYS right one over right now, who says commitment excludes fun?

Listen, the truth is if you have a fear of commitment it's probably also a problem with decision making... Let's face it, making decisions and committing to stand behind those decisions is part of being mature and we aren't kiddos any longer.  If you need to hear it from someone else; listen to me "you already know it's right, you know this is it for you, there is no other relationship because you'll never be able to totally forget about this one... SO COMMIT ALREADY!"

So, why am I not talking about commitment in the traditional sense? Seems pretty traditional to me...? It's because I'm talking about the fear of commitment I've seen for years in friends of mine... Throughout our teens and now that we are adults it seems even worse. Although some of my friends afraid to commit as teens have now taken the big leap there are so many dangerously wasting time. "Dangerously?" Yes, NOW is the time to COMMIT TO GOD!  Stop fooling around thinking you've got your whole life ahead... What if you're wrong?! Are you going to be able to look God in His eyes, ignoring the nail scars in his hands and thorn pierces in his forehead while you try to excuse yourself with just a "had I known I only had another year... Week... Day... Hour... I would have turned my life completely over to you! You know I love you, I just..." Just what? I love you but I wanted to have fun without you? I love you but I loved partying more? I love you but I didn't make time for you? I love you but I just couldn't commit?  If you wouldn't believe or accept that excuse from a friend, family member or partner why would you offer it to God? I've watched so many of my friends whom I love deeply throw precious years of influence away to a drink, relationship or career when they could and should have been changing their own lives and saving the lives of others with God. I'm sick of it, I'm standing up for this generation... Even if you don't know you need to be stood up for. God loves you, He wants your commitment, He's after your heart... Go after Him, go after Him hard and serious.

The truth is, you may not have the time to change tomorrow so do it today! I know we always hear "you're not promised tomorrow" and it's true... I know it's hard to really grasp that thought and the truth is you may have years... But if you do have years do you really want to waste them or do you want to make a difference? No one really wants to waste a life, entering and leaving this world unnoticed and without matter... So don't! Commit now, don't even wait until tonight before bed! If you're around people while you're reading this get up, walk to the washroom run some water and whisper to God. Talk it out with Him, apologize and make a plan to change, make time for Him right now. I know it's only three minutes in the washroom and you think that's hardly worth offering to Him at all but if you hadn't talked to someone you love for (however long it's been for you and God insert that time here) wouldn't you want time even just three minutes? "The journey of one thousand miles starts with a single step." - Chinese proverb (as tweeted by Healthy MaginationThe relationship of a lifetime with Christ starts with a single prayer.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I loved this SueLing. I've been struggling with a very negative relationship between me and family member. Last night I called them to see how things were. The phone call only left me upset, angry and sad. For the last year I've been trying to deal with this on my own. Last night was the first time I threw my hands in the air and said I give up, I'm moving on, I'm giving it to you God because I just can't deal with it anymore. I asked for forgivness and left it with him. This morning I woke up with answers to problem and how to deal with it. I felt incrediable this morning. Thank you for the wonderful read :)