Couldn't leave well enough alone... Clarification on "Florida, Disappointments & Solitary"

My blog post "Florida, Disappointments & Solitary" written two weeks ago has caused quite the stir! I can't believe it's still getting readers and comments! But there is one thing I feel I must address... I had a comment awaiting moderation tonight that stated "I think the following article is a great read in light of the post: http://www.boundlessline.org/2012/02/willing-to-settle.html  Have a great day!" posted, of course by Anonymous (although I think it may be Mr. Adam R. Holz from Boundless line) on Florida, Disappointments & Solitary on 4/11/12.  Although the article was a little boring to get through (I like articles written in a more personal approach... Give me some humor or something.) I did finish it... And I'm disturbed by what the article said... Not so much for it's value but because it was in response to what I wrote... PEOPLE!!!?? To clarify, I did not mean I was waiting for George Clooney look-alike to walk into my life but I am waiting for someone I would at least like to get to know better... Have some sort of interest in or at least curiosity toward! It's true, Christian, nice and employed are "required" but it's also true loyalty, personality and some sort of connection are - although not deal breakers- requested. The man of my dreams does not have to possess all six of the list, however I'm not going to settle for the first three and end up with a cheater or someone I can't even talk to... And I shouldn't and, in my opinion, neither should any other man or woman! So if you think there is something wrong with that, get over it... I have the right to my opinion and you have the right to remain wrong! hahahahah!

Now onto the value of the article I was requested to read... Here is a excerpt from the middle:  "In her Feb. 21 article “Why Men Are Settling for Mrs. Good Enough” at The Daily Beast, Jessica Bennett talked with Fisher about the results of her study. One of the most interesting statistics was the fact that 31 percent of adult men said that they’d commit to someone they didn’t love as long as that person exhibited all the other qualities they were looking for in a mate. Perhaps even more surprising still, the percentage of men willing to make that choice was actually highest among men in their 20s, nearly 40 percent, compared to just 22 percent of women in that age bracket.

Explaining her findings, Fisher commented, “We have a stereotype in this culture that it's men who are the ones who don't want to commit, who don't want to settle down, who are the scarce resources. But in fact, it's the opposite." Fisher mentioned one man who told her, "My wife isn’t perfect. She isn’t the best I’ve had in bed. But she’s a wonderful mother to our daughter, she’s very helpful in our business life, and we get along very well.’”  And my response to that is actually not as much to "Fisher" as it is to the meant she studied... I do not want to be the woman you don't love but commit to anyway! I could possess ever other quality you're looking for but if you don't see me across the room and think "I completely love that woman" please skip over me, you may feel okay with not loving me but I definitely do not feel okay thinking you love me and giving my heart to you if you, in fact, do not feel love for me. And it's not that I won't overlook your dumb jokes or your bad sense of style, I will, but there are some important things and I don't want to be the only one who is in love in this relationship!

So here's my bottom line, hopefully this will help you all understand me a bit better on this topic: I'm not perfect (GASP!? I know, hard to believe, right!? haah) and I am not looking for a perfect man...  Just like Dr. Phil taught me I am looking for Mr. 80% unfortunately that means you're disqualified Mr. 30%... And all the readers sigh a sympathetic "awe..." What I was saying in my past post and am clarifying now is that a man doesn't have to be perfect to be perfect for me, he just has to have something to get us started! If there is nothing, no seed, how can we grow from there? We can't. Another thing I tried to make you understand Mr. 30% is that you are someone elses 80% and because there is some beautiful lady out there praying God will send you her way I am not going to keep you knocking on my door any longer, get on your way, appreciate that I'm not fooling you or wasting your time knowing you will never be happy trying to live up to the 50% I'm desiring and use the time you saved to find your soul mate.

Also, I know some of you just want me and all the ladies out there like me to "settle down" but one thing you may not be considering, the thing I am actually counting on is God created a soul mate for us! He's not Mr. Perfect and most likely not even Mr. Right (how can he be when I'm Mrs. right... Someone has to be wrong :oP) but he don't you worry, he is Mr. Made for Me and I'll know enough to love and appreciate him as soon as he steps foot into my life!

One last excerpt "Bennett also talked with Tom Matlack, co-founder of the Good Men Project. He echoes Fisher’s assessment when he says, “Marriage is challenging. Are you always madly in love with your spouse? No. But being a good husband and a good father is about trusting the other person, about being willing to deal with difficult stuff. I think it’s a sign of maturity on the part of men to admit that. … I don’t need the Victoria’s Secret model. I don’t need the infatuation that’s not going to last. I need a partner in life."  This one I actually agree with... I need a partner in life and that's all I'm looking for, not Mr GQ. I know, we won't "feel the love" every day, that's why it's called commitment but I also believe regardless of the "feeling of the day" there is the underlying "knowing of the way" and even if I think you're being a complete jerk today, tomorrow I will remember you hold my heart :o)

Marriage is difficult at times, it needs to run deeper than looks and feeling, there has to be a strong foundation! I'm just looking for the right person to build that foundation with and not going to settle for a cardboard box marriage :o)  I'll even allow Mr. Adam R. Holz the last word since he seems to have so pointedly explained my sentiments "Marriage is a partnership. As Christians, we believe that it’s a partnership with a spiritual purpose, that of glorifying Christ. And hopefully it’s a partnership that brings a deep sense of meaning and fulfillment. Sometimes, though, you’re just glad to have survived another day, another week, and having a soul mate is less existentially important in the moment than the fact that your loving spouse remembered to wash your clothes for you.

Paradoxically, as the years and mileage piles on — and after almost eight years of marriage and three kids say this — there’s something about doing even those mundane tasks together (and for each other) that enriches and expands your entire conception of what a soul mate really is."