New Year, New Me! - Part 2

Stop trying to hold onto the past – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. I know, there are reasons we like to hold on... That ex you wish would come back, that chance you never took, that loved one who passed... But the truth is, we can't change anything by not moving forward anyway! If you really think about it, that ex will never to come back to a messy, crying, needy, possibly turning stalker anyway... Would you? No, you have a better chance of the ex seeing you move forward and onto great things in life and regretting the decision to leave you ultimately forcing them to try to get you back than by updating your facebook status 100 times a day with sappy "you tore out my heart" love songs and confessing your grim outlook for the future! As far as that chance you never took and now it's too late... Is it really? If not, stop belly aching over what might have been and go out and see what could be, take the chance now. If it honestly is too late the LEARN FROM IT and look for the next opportunity to come your way being ready and take that chance! Now possibly the hardest struggle, the loved one you never quite expressed your true love for that's gone... You can't get them back, no matter how you cry and try. And the thing is, they probably knew your love without you telling them. If not, did they love you? Of course. And if you were the one who passed would you want them to be stagnant in life using their grief and lonesome feeling as some weight stopping them from living, moving forward and making you proud of the way they are living life? Absolutely not! So, why would you not do the things for yourself which you would want them to do if the roles were reversed? No Excuses!

Stop berating yourself for old mistakes – This is definitely easier said than done... Partially because we have little to no control over some thoughts of old mistakes passing through our minds. What we do have complete power over is how we respond to the thought of a past failure... Sometimes it's good for those thoughts to come, it can be a reminder of the lesson learned. Just tell yourself I've learned, I'm getting better, progressing and I may have loves the wrong person and cry about the wrong things but those past mistakes are helping me find the person and things that are right for me... If nothing else it has taught me what not to do and what I don't want. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past but you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Those mistakes and struggles are what has shaped you into the caring, compassionate and beautiful person you are now. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life has and is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come. Expect amazing things!

Stop trying to buy happiness – I have to say, raised in a "poor" home for much of my life, this one hasn't really been a huge problem for me but I've seen it in lives of those around me. I put quotes around poor because if you think you are poor please, save whatever money you do have and take a trip to a third world country... Your opinion of poor will be changed. Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions. Think about it... If you had a choice: lose everything you've purchased or lose the people you love, all humor around you and your passion which would you choose? Obviously the purchases... So then stop looking at those things are needs when they are only added benefits, spend more time on what's really important!

Stop being scared to make a mistake – Listen, I'm a singer, I sing every week on a stage... Usually to a minimum of 300 people in an audience and upwards to almost 3000... I've fallen down the stairs off the stage, mistakenly thrown a prop off the stage into the audience and had to wait for it to be returned to me, hit flat and sharp notes, forgotten the words to the song, run off stage crying when there were musical errors that screwed the song up so bad we had to stop (I was pretty young for that one.) lost the cord out of the end of my microphone halfway through a song and not really noticed for a few lyrics... picked it up plugged it in and kept going haha! But I still do it every week, I still get on stage, I still dance around and I still sing! Failure doesn't lie in making mistakes but in not learning from them and trying again! Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it and every failure- as long as you keep moving and learning afterward - is just another step leading you toward success.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not – One of the greatest challenges in life is just being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. God designed you the way you are for a reason, even those things you see as imperfections... So maybe you're not the funniest and are a little slow on the uptake at times, it could just be purposed for you to have one serious conversation in your lifetime that will actually save someone in a time of sadness... Let's face it, I may be funny but a suicidal person wouldn't need me to crack a joke as much as would need you to care, sympathize and talk them through the moment.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger but they will never be you and all in all, you're just fine! It's the accepting yourself in order to be yourself that can be difficult... I've already written at least three blogs in 2011 on this subject matter... Planned from the Beginning, Flava Flave and Not the Prettiest. Don’t change so people will like you because if they only like you for who you pretend to be, well then, they don't really like you at all, do they? Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.