Arms - Christina Perri - the translation

"You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

You put your arms around me and..."

The first time I thought the next word of this verse was "hold..." I immediately though of God, holding me throughout my life's struggles. How it would be so much easier for Him to have let me go than to fight for my life.  I most likely wouldn't have written a blog on those words alone but when I heard the next verse, it just had to be translated in my paraphrase for you!

"How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling..."

How many times have I changed my mind and turned around?  Back and forth, back and forth... The beating of life made me want to quit trying... Quit being.  So many questions, "is it worth it?" "Can God really make a difference in my life?" "Does God really care about me enough to help?" "I know He can but I don't deserve it, so will He?" 

So many years of my life speant in the indecision... Will I let Him save me?  And that's what it really comes down to, doesn't it?  Will we, each of us, allow God's plan and process in our lives?  Or, will we cut it short of our destiny because we are tired, we've lost vision, lost the excitement of the beginning of the journey or lost hope? 

Even more of my time was spent not realizing I was already falling...  So much time defending with "well, I'm not really doing anything bad..." or  "at least I would never do what they are doing..."  even, my personal fall back "if they can get away with that why can't I get away with this?" Always thinking that sitting in a church made me a Christian you've heard this one before "Well, I go to church..." Which by the way can be used either to downplay or upplay your relationship with God. As my pastor would say "sitting in a church building doesn't anymore make you a Christian than sitting in a garage makes you a car."

"The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved..."

That's on of the hard ones for me... My dad left our home when I was nine years old, and re-married when I was thirteen to a woman that we will just say I had some difficulty with... The wedding which I found out about one night before it happened and was not apologized to but told "well, you can come if you want to..." I was that lost little daddy's girl who felt like her daddy didn't love her anymore... (I will say that at this point I have regained a lot of my relationship with my dad after much work and effort on both sides but it's not entirely the same and those kind of scars never completely fade.) My relationship experience? Just as fantastic, I somehow seemed to find the cheater in the crowd and yell out "oh, oh! Pick me! PICK ME!"  So for me, finding myself worthy of God's love did not (and sometimes still does not) come easy... At first because of my actions and words to defend my own heart, I was quite the horrible little girl once upon a time; my basic moto being "get them before they get you" and "find out their weak spot, if they ever come close to hurting you, go for the jugular." Now, even though I made up my mind I love God and want to follow Him I sometimes make mistakes, have a really nasty thought or say something that very well could and definitely should have been left unsaid and yes, I've embarrassed myself and God... The beauty in salvation is that deservedness is not a prerequisit! Just like all the superman & batman movies, the hero never takes the time to check your worthiness for salvation, he just swoops down, scoops you up and carries you home!

"I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls

You put your arms around me and I'm home"

The plain truth of it is, we've all made it easier at one point or another for God (and everyone else in our lives for that matter) to let us go...  We all have put up walls of some sort to protect our hearts and found too late that those walls have actually created a cage we don't have the key to... BUT GOD! But God will still put his arms around you because he already knew you would make mistakes and fall on your face in sin and shame... Romans 3:23 (ESV) "Because all people have sinned, they have fallen short of God’s glory." But Isiah 53 (MSG), speaking of Jesus' crucifixion says "But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures.But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him." And, just in case you're worried about someone causing God to let go of you John 10:28-30 (KJV) takes care of that worry "And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one!"  And one last thing... Those walls that are now holding you locked prisoner, just praise God anyway... When you can't get out, God can get in! Acts 16:25&26 (NIV) "About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose." Jesus tells us He has the keys to get let you out! Revelation 1:18 (MSG) "Don't fear: I am First, I am Last, I'm Alive. I died, but I came to life, and my life is now forever. See these keys in my hand? They open and lock Death's doors, they open and lock Hell's gates."