Thursday, October 11, 2012

Slipping into Addiction

I saw something the other day and hated it... Actually it was what I didn't see... It was a man I used to know, someone I held in high regard and loved very much, it was his shell at least. The man I knew faded away somehow, he had been buried underneath the reality of his circumstance and had lost who he was.  There are parts of his addiction I could understand at one point... I suppose the reasons why. The man's life had been difficult, he had a rough upbringing and I don't think had ever really felt loved in some ways and I'm not sure he really learned how to love.  I've seen his past rare it's ugly head even through his struggle to show love to me and others but as for a rough past being the reason for his addiction.. I don't think so. I mean I suppose the past could be a trigger but there are a lot of people out there with a rough past who have not chosen to become addicted.

Seeing the man I used to know got me thinking about another man I know who seems to be slipping into a similar addiction. It's a sad and scary thing to watch... No matter how hard I try to relate and help the only response I seem to get is something along the lines of "but it's not the same, it's worse for me because..." Each passing day the addiction seems to get worse... I try to be encouraging and make him see the light at the end of the tunnel but that light just seems so far away for him that I can't even work up a slight smile on his face.

The two men I've been talking about are not street people, they aren't unsuccessful financially at this point, they both have loving families and friends... In each case there is really only one major stresser; for one it is his past and for the other it is work.  So what is it that makes these men turn one stresser into addiction? I think it's the addiction itself and in order to understand that statement you need to know the addiction I'm talking about is an addiction to the stress and negativity itself.  For the first man, it's not that the past was so horrendous he couldn't get over it but that he refuses to change it... And I know you're thinking no one can change the past and while that's technically true, we can change what the past means to us and turn it into a lesson... Make the painful memories be our guide for us to ensure we are better people than the ones who have hurt us.  If we have felt unloved in the past make sure no one in our future ever could feel that way.  For the second man it's his current circumstance that has a hold on him... It's not that everything in his present is difficult it's that he is no longer separating the difficult parts from the good.  He's allowing the bad to bleed into and taint the good... Even when the sun shines through his situation he's waiting for tomorrow's  storm so much that he can't step out of the shadows. 

In both cases these men are becoming addicted to the negativity of life instead of directing their thoughts and hopes to a better day.  So why am I writing about these two today?  I think it would be easy for any one of us to slip into an addiction to negativity, we all have hard times and frustrations we can't seem to control that happen day after day... We all, at times, have the question is it ever going to change and get better? But we muse take control of our own thoughts and refuse to get to the point of becoming addicted to the negative.  We have to not allow negativity and problems to become the place in which we expect to live, we must pick ourselves up, put one foot in front of the other and look forward to a better future and move there!  But if you've already slipped into addiction to negativity the good news is you can turn it around the same way you can stop it before it starts... You may have to ween yourself off, you may make mistakes along the way, you may even fall off the wagon but you can start over at any point and you can beat this!

Whatever your current situation, whoever has hurt or is currently hurting you, take your power back! Stop dwelling on the pain, don't allow all your thoughts to be directed into negativity, don't allow the bad things in life to take away from the good.  I know the reality is some times life sucks but just take a break from that and think about something that is good. "Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8 (MSG). Don't allow yourself to speak negativity into your own life "Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." Proverbs 18:21 (MSG).

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of my Favs SueLing!!

Anonymous said...

This is avery good blog and it can be of help if you read it and keep in mind you are a better person when you are positive and take you problems by the scruff of the neck and tell yourself I am better than this so I am going to change my way of thinking.I hope others will find this eyeopening and helpful . Keep up the good work Sue.

Anonymous said...

This was Great SueAnne Opens a persons eyes! Feel so bad for these two men! Praying for them!

Anonymous said...

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SuzieK said...

I've never thought about an e-book actually, however I will at some point consider it... The guest blog post I would love to do at any time but I couldn't e-mail you because your post is anonymous :o(