Going Through The Change!!!

"It's my life!!!" -Bon Jovi. "Have it your way!" - Burger King. "I did it my way" - Frank Sinatra. "Baby you could have whatever you like, I said, you could have whatever you like" - TI. "I am beautiful, in every single way and words won't bring me down" Christina Agulira. So while every message is "if you're not hurting anyone go for it, it's your life, you don't have to please anyone else" is change still necessary? Can we really just do whatever we like, say every word that crosses our mind and follow what seems good to us? Are there guidelines for what is acceptable or is it just whatever you think is cool? Obviously, there are guidelines and change is necessary. For an example: when a child bites his or her friend because they want to play with a toy the other child is holding; the parents explain it's not acceptable behavior and correct the childs path.. So then what age do we stop being willing to change? I have heard a lot of people, myself included, say "I want to be better but I don't know how to change" or "well, I'm not changing if he/she doesn't change!!".. As I get older I actually take pride in changing myself (somehow I feel it makes me, in some ways at least, better than the other person I think needs to change as well but is unwilling). There comes a curious satisfaction from realizing that even when you aren't who you want to be quite yet, you are in the process. I've also had to be honest with myself and admit it's not that I don't know how to change, it's that I don't want to deal with the process of change.. Partially because we are taught to be confident and somehow admitting we aren't perfect and we need to change has become weak in most eyes. We need to realize that, in truth, seeing your own flaws and working on them actually proves courage and confidence. Confidence is not putting on a mask of perfection, it's being authentic and real or true to who you are and who you are not. Sometimes the things I know how to change seem too large to tackle so I push the thought away and procrastinate myself away from turning into the woman I should be. But that's just being lazy and complacent. I may have stated this before; one piece of advice I hated to hear throught life but has been proved most true is "If you want to, just make up your mind and do it." That saying has applied to so much of my life and it applies in the changing process. Just make up your mind and do it, change what you see in yourself that if you were looking at another you would not like to see. Another thought that stops or slows changing is when the issue seems insignificant. "Does that really matter?" "If I don't change this one thing can that really be a huge deal with where I'm going?" Thing is, if the big issues are not tackled because they are too large and seemingly insignificant things are not worked on because they are too small, change will not happen with any aspect. The fix: look at the small changes as being one part of a bigger issue, once you are looking back (hind sight is 20/20) you will see all the little things adding up to a huge underlying issue that had you seen then you probably wouldn't have worked on at all.. Maybe no one will notice all the small things I am working on (and come on, be honest, we all like a little recognition from someone) but I will, and I can be proud of changing what I don't like about myself. (As an aside, don't get frustrated with the process, changing doesn't happen overnight and you will make mistakes, that doesn't mean you aren't able to change or it's not worth the work, it means you're human! If you're working on your temper and you call someone down just recognize the mistake and continue to move forward, next time you might remember the mistake and stop short of the yelling or sarcastic comments with their cutting sting.) I'm not sure why I wrote this one, other than to challenge you to change with me! Don't be lazy or complacent, don't let the big issues scare you, just get started! Next year at this time you will barely recognize the person you are right now, you will be thousands of small changes closer to who you are meant to be. I know you are thinking of something you could change by now, that's exactly what you should start with.. The Bible says "to him that knows to do good and does it not, to him, it is sin." and whether you believe the Bible or not, you know the good thing you can do for a change in your life; if you don't do it now you then have to choose to not to change, not to go after who you dream of being.. Every time that part of you shows in the mirror of who you are preceved to be you have to again choose to ignore and procrastinate the change, good luck with that. Or, you could just start now (PS. the second option is the better of the two, incase you are having a hard time figuring that out :o))