Can't Hold on any Longer

I love this translation of Isiah 41:10, 13 because it talks about not panicking, which I am prone to... Not fearing, again, something I struggle with. Gaining strength, who doesn't need more strength? But the most important part is that God has a "firm grip" and isn't letting go of us. It's a good thing because honestly, I've been to the place before where I can't hold on any longer and this reminds me that I don't always have to hold on because I am held on to.

I received this advice from someone recently "if you can't hold on anymore, tell God... He knows your heart. He knows you want to be strong and you're trying, the desire is there. And, because he knows all of those things, when you ask Him, He will hold onto you when you feel you can't hold on anymore." And the person ensured me she has had to pray that same prayer before and it worked for her.  It was comforting, but when I read God's Word and that is confirmed then I am confident in asking.

I don't know where life has you right now, I hope you don't need this Scripture to be honest... But whether you are there now or not, I know life has a way of knocking us down time and time again so you will need this at some point... When you can't hold on anymore, that's your sign to release, just make sure you tell God first... He won't let you go!

It's kind of like when someone is drowning and there is a water rescue... If you've taken swimming lessons for any length of time you would have been taught to use extreme caution when attempting a water rescue, many times when someone is drowning the panic is so strong they will actually take the rescuer down with them... Unless, they let go and trust the rescue... When I was taking swimming lessons they taught us to talk to the person and ensure they calm down before getting within their reach, once they calmed down we could attempt the rescue. And really, that's what we all need to do when we are in danger of drowning in our circumstance, when we can't hold on or tread water any longer... The lifeguard is almost within reach, as close as the mention of His name.. We need to cry out for help and know if we calm down and trust Him, we will be rescued.

Setting things Write

So many people have been asking, prodding, requesting, encouraging me to write again...  I have been, not as often, and not publishing here, but I have been writing in a journal some; and still with all of you in mind, thinking at some point I may rewrite and publish?  Truthfully, as I write this, I am not entirely sure if or when I will post it... As you know, I write partly because it helps me figure out whatever I've been through in life, whether recent or not, whether I thought I had it figured out previously or not... So, I've decided to start to "set things write" in my life again.

I keep running into some of the same quotes and scriptures and somehow I believe when that happens it's because you are supposed to get (and usually share with others) a message from it... Yesterday was Valentine's Day... As my readers know, NOT my favourite Holiday and yesterday wasn't really an exception. It wasn't an over-all bad day, it just didn't end well for me, a family member and I had a major disagreement, and I'm just not into conflict, DEFINITELY not into going to sleep angry or upset, and we did.  But in spite of my feelings about V-Day and all it doesn't mean and in spite of my disagreement with family, in spite of hurt and pain and a life that seems to have been set on fire and burned to the ground, I keep seeing this and thinking on it...

It's true you know, no matter what you go through... Three things always remain, even if we think not, even if they fade to a vapor for a while, they still remain... 

FAITH, God. I get angry with Him. I doubt Him sometimes. I wonder where He is and why He doesn't see or if He does see things then why hasn't He done something. I cry to Him. I growl Him for not doing things my way. I question His promises... I know, I know, we are taught ALL of these things are wrong, and they probably are; BUT they are also just part of being a HUMAN.  We are flesh, blood, dust and vapor... The same Word that says be strong, don't fear, don't doubt, also says that He remembers we are dust... Faith remains.

HOPE. Sometimes I actually get frustrated with myself for hoping... I mean, I don't hope for better every day. My hopes change, sometimes I have high hopes and sometimes I just hope to be okay. Hope ebbs and flows. Hope can burn bright or smolder beneath the ash of all your dreams. Much like a forest fire, you can thing Hope is finished and you will never see a flame again, but it's only deep in the ground, still there, the flame will rise. Hope remains.

LOVE. The thing about Love is you don't get to choose... I know, long term love is a choice... But at it's base, you just love who you love, it can happen in an instant over gradually over time without you even noticing... But however you arrive at loving someone, once you do, it just does not go away.  Love can carry you through anything, sometimes it's a nagging voice in the back of your mind when you're finally going to make a selfish decision but that voice says "what about them? Is it what's best for them? Will they hurt because of it? You love them, you can sacrifice one more time for their sake." Sometimes love is forced to be silent and hidden because it's been rejected or disapproved of or you just "know" you can't love the same way any longer because it's not good for you, but it's still there.  Much anger and hurt can be present, take divorce as an example, but whether we are able to admit it or not, love is still present as well.  Nothing can kill love, not really, even when we are so hurt we say we hate another, we know, if they are in trouble that love will come alive and force us to help. No matter what happens, in some way, somehow, love never leaves, never truly dies.  Love remains.

I've had faith for a lot of things that have yet to happen. I've had hopes dashed into pieces so small they are unrecognizable.  I've had so many "bad things" happen that I forget there was ever any good. People have hurt me to the point where I refuse them entrance into my life again... To the point I've hated them.  But after all of that... Actually, even through all of that, I know, I've learned to admit and not to just admit but to appreciate that at some minuscule level, FAITH, HOPE and LOVE remain... Even when I don't want them to be there, those three things, are there. Even when I can't pray any more, even when it seems the hope my future is so dark I can't see to take another step, even when I'm too weak to do anything else, I'm never too weak for love.  We've been taught how important it is (no matter your religious background or any other background) to have faith, positive mindset, believe in yourself, whatever you've called it, it's all faith and we are all taught it is very powerful... Isn't it crazy to think that LOVE is more important, more powerful, greater in every way? More than faith, more than hope, we need and are capable of love. Through anything in life that does or doesn't throw our way, we still love and that is the most powerful force on Earth. Love suffers long. Love is kind. Love is not proud. Love bears all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things. Love NEVER fails. Even when faith and everything else around and in us fails and hopes are dashed, it's okay, because LOVE is BETTER, it's STRONGER, it's GREATER.