The Weakness of God

I've always been taught that God can do anything. I've read about miracles and how all powerful God is... More than that, I believe it because I've seen it with my own eyes! I've seen cancer shrink off of some one's body and later read the doctors reports after the name of Jesus has been called over them in healing. I know God is Strong but what about His weakness? Does He have one? I know if you're a Christian you're probably thinking "no, absolutely not!" and may even be a little angered with the thought and if you're not a Christian you could be on the "hoping there's no weakness of God" or the "of course, and you're weak if you follow Him" end of the spectrum and anywhere in between... Although no one likes to know the punchline of a story before it's time, I have to say, yes God has one weakness and I'm about to reveal it to you.

Today, I was talking to my co-worker/friend about perception... How others view us, how we view ourselves and how God views us... And how those perspectives are all different. Other people judge on action, we judge on thought and motive (usually we are hard on ourselves) and God knows everything and judges on truth and love.  I told her that when I was a little girl and would color if I made any mistake at all and went outside the lines just a little bit that I would grip the crayon as hard as I could in my little fist, press down on the paper so hard I would shake and scribble over the whole page then usually rip it and crumple it up into little pieces before throwing it out... I remember mom telling me she wouldn't have even noticed the mistake if I hadn't told her but I knew about it and my perspective was only focused on that one mistake so much so that I didn't care about the big picture. (there's a message there about our perspective vs. others and then verses the love and mercy of God... Leading into forgiveness of self and not ruining the whole thing for a mistake. You may want to just take a minute to think about because although it's obvious it's not exactly where I'm going this time...) All I am trying to convey is I've always been a bit of a Type A perfectionist and that has carried over into my relationship with God. Even if you're not a Type A personality please read to the end, I promise everyone who reads this needs it and will glean help from it.

Approximately one year ago I went through something - nothing I can even remember, just a "typical me" situation - I had done or said something I didn't feel good about and didn't feel I should have because of my Christianity.  When I do things that I am not proud of or that I know are wrong or whatever I tend to "hide." Hmmm... Adam & Eve, there's a Bible parallel I didn't think of before now... Anyway, I just get quiet with God, or actually, quiet without Him... I don't pray because I'm embarrassed.  Well, this particular time I had taken about a week and a half without really praying - "Thanks for the grub" doesn't really count here - I continued to read the Bible but outside of the occasional "night God" He didn't really hear from me.  Saturday night my church always has prayer meeting - and I'll take a minute here to encourage any and all of you to get involved in a group prayer meeting, no, you won't always "feel like it" but it is so worth it and it will strengthen you! - as usual, I was at prayer... But this night I was there more because I am in ministry than I was there because of desire, it was definitely one of those "I don't feel like it" kind of nights. As I walked through the doors of the sanctuary it hit me, God's presence seemed so near, so heavy you could almost tangibly feel it... I got on my knees between two church pews and didn't say a word, just cried.  The only words I could think of were apologies for being so stupid and letting embarrassment God already knew about keep me from talking to God and taking care of the mistake... I knew if I would have just swallowed my pride and asked forgiveness God would give it but I had to "hide" instead.  The only three words I actually mustered to get out of my mouth was "I missed you!" (I wrote another blog about this actual moment... click here.) And I could almost hear God say "I missed you!" That moment changed me... It changed the way I think about God and how I think he thinks about me...

You know - if you've read many of my posts - I'm big on treating my relationship with God like a marriage, I mean literally as if God was visible in my own home living with me, it just helps me with being able to talk to Him and to remember how close He actually is... But at that moment I realized it goes both ways. In trying to comfort others in regards to mistakes, I've often said "God's not looking for perfection, if He was He would have stopped at the creation of angels... So we have to figure out what He is looking for... And if we take the scripture that we are made in His image and think about the one thing every person on Earth is looking for it's evident that what God wants from us is love." Somehow it's easier to teach a lesson about how to move past mistakes than it is to hear it... But it's true, God wants our love, your love and mine. It's all he desires, it's all we can really give a God who is almighty and already has everything at his disposal. People are the only thing God cares anything about... We are the only thing, the only ones who can hurt Him... We are God's only weakness. It's what drove to step off of His throne, and out of Heaven to be born in a stable and it's what eventually lead him to a horrific and bloody cross of death, but that weakness is also where He found the strength to rise again in victory on the third day and it's also why He will take us to heaven to be with Him!

So next time you make a mistake and feel like you're an idiot and you don't deserve forgiveness or love from God... Or if you are finding it hard to forgive yourself... Just remember, if you're "hiding" because you don't deserve God, He misses you because love isn't based on deserving, it's not based on what the other person does or doesn't do, it's based on the lover. Not unlike a successful marriage, there will be hurt in our relationship with God, we will disappoint Him, and we will do things wrong but those things are things you work through not things that should make you quit on the relationship! We are guaranteed that God's love for us is unconditional, if we try and continue our best in this relationship God will never leave or forsake us, if this relationship ends in separation it's not because He walked away. Those mistakes along the way are the little things like leaving a toilet seat up, squeezing the toothpaste from the middle and burning a meal, if you work through it - and that means you're going to have to talk about it - you will only make your relationship stronger. Remember, just like that person you can't keep yourself from daydreaming about, that one you can't wait to come home to at night, that person who just makes you weak with love... You're that person to God! You're God's only weakness.