When my parents split up my mother only had a grade eight education... She was raised in a family of nineteen children and when her father died, leaving her mother to tend to the upbringing on her own some things became more important than school in mum's life. Because of her lack of education and needing to have a career that gave her enough to raise her own child on she decided to go back to school... Thankfully, unemployment supplement helped her pay her way to get her GED; however, it didn't help with much else... Mum went to school during the days, worked evenings, and studied nights just so we could get by and to be honest, without God helping us along the way by laying it on some one's heart to help us, I don't think we would have ever made it. I remember a few things in particular about being poor... The places we had to live I now know as being apartments where drug pushers stay, one month (and I'm not exaggerating it was a whole month!) we had nothing to eat but tomato soup and we only had that because it was on sale (I think the price was $0.29/can.) and our treat for years was Thursday nights playing Bingo at home.
The thing is, I don't want you to read this and feel bad for me, I don't want any "I'm so sorry you had to go through that" type comments because I actually find myself looking back on all of the rough times and thanking God I've gone through them... Sincerely. Not because they were fun and I wouldn't wish those circumstances on anyone else but because those years shaped who I am today, they shaped the way I see the world around me, the way I see others, the way I think and make decisions... You still won't find me going into a store and buying an outfit at full price and I'm proud of that, some day my husband will love that about me as well, haha! I know how to have fun on a budget and let me tell you, if you play a board game with me we will probably be friends for life!
I traded the squirrels these for peanuts :o) |
A lot of our financial restrictions made me less than popular through middle school but I learned I may not be able to have many friends for sleepovers or birthday parties but I did have a friend who would be there to wipe away my tears in the middle of the night and who could hear my heart when I couldn't find the words... I remember sitting in my room alone with my dog, Prince, and a cassette player listening to my uncle Lloyd sing "like a puzzle, scattered on the floor, that's the way my life was when you walked through the door. Then one by one you put the pieces back in place. That must be what they call amazing grace! You came to me and through me, your eyes were searching out my darkest feelings... I'm amazed at what amazing grace can do..." and in those moments God was so close I could feel His arms cradling me... I got to know God at a young age in a way I don't think most people ever really get to, He actually was "Abba, father" to me when my father wasn't around. And maybe you haven't experienced a situation in life that has pushed you down so far the only one that could ever reach you was Christ and if that's the case you should consider making him a priority because of appreciation of the many blessings! If you are in a bad place in life right now and you feel like you're alone and you want to give up I totally get that but before you do just give life one more chance, try God! He loved you so much he became sin for you and died in your place, He died so you can live, don't throw that life away! Give God one chance to help you, you can even tell Him "okay God, this chick thinks you can help, so here's your chance..." that's enough, He will meet you where you're at! I promise!
For more help please visit www.capitalcommunity.ca there are contacts you can e-mail who have helped me negotiate through some of the junk in my life, there are things you can read, listen to and events you can attend! Or comment directly to me below. The comments are private unless I approve public viewing (and although I do approve all comments for public viewing if you ask me not to I won't!)
3 comments:
I dont have the words to say how I feel, but I know God is good and will be there in any situation.
very good blog
Touched my heart...your grace in writing is a talent that few have. Keep up the good work. God bless you on a daily basis.
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