Nobody's Valentine... What You're Doing Wrong & Changes You Need to Make

So,  it's the day before valentines day... All the quotes like the ones above - which is one of my favorites - are circling about, that fuzzy feeling in the air, love in the eyes of people all around.... My favorite time of year... Not exactly, I mean I love love but I'm not in a relationship and there is a tidal wave coming in that basically just says to us singles "look what you don't have yet..." Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all you who are dating and hitched and I don't even feel like I've missed out on anything at this point but this year I'm nobody's valentine and I still want what you have, someday :) 

I read this quote today and loved it... I think because it's what I've been realizing lately... This time, being single, is a perfect opportunity for me to be like tea, to read more of God's word, to pray more, to get close enough to him that a husband is an addition into an already incredible relationship instead of something that will define my relationship with God. God will be the base of my relationship and that's exactly how it should be... We need to take this time and use it, not wish it away waiting for our futures! We need to use the waiting to grow into the future God has planned, to prepare ourselves for that future...

I've been told a lot about how to get into a relationship throughout my 20's... I've considered all of it, some of it has even changed the way I've presented myself at points but I want to make sure you don't make the same mistakes without hearing what has to be said after the fact...  I've been told by well meaning people that I'm intimidating to guys (which for you who are thinking "yeah right" don't worry, I don't believe it! Haha) I've been told I'm too smart, I'm too put together and should be more messy sometimes... So I've acted less intelligent than I am, I've let myself have messier hair than I like, I've dressed differently than I like. I've been told I'm too spiritual, too involved in my church, too into God... And, shamefully, I've tried to act like I'm not, I've tried to pretend like I don't want or need a man who is completely committed to God and involved in the church... I've even considered dating outside church...  I've been told I love my mom too much, I shouldn't live with her or care about her opinion on a man... I have to say, that one I didn't change for but I was embarrassed at times and I did wonder if I should just not care what's she thinks... I've been told I should hold myself back, I shouldn't buy my own home, have a car, or pets or responsibilities and because of that I almost didn't buy my home! How crazy is that my home is my proudest adult purchase, it's a security for myself and my mother and I need responsibilities! After all the things I changed for a season I've now (actually a long time ago) decided I am not going to be ashamed of any of those things! I am intelligent, I like to have my hair and clothes neat (although it does not happen 24/7 I want to present myself well),  I am spiritual, my life is God and church centered, I am involved in everything I can be at my church and offer to do more anytime I can,  I read my bible, I pray, I fast, I don't miss church, I love my family, my pets and I own my own home, I have a great career and someday I hope to go into ministry full-time! All of that is who I am, I love it all and I want someone who likes all of that... Furthermore, I want someone who is a lot like that... I mean the hair can be messed up, his clothes don't have to be trendy or anything haha, but I want someone who has a life of their own, I want someone who loves his family and helps them, I want someone who is involved in his church and has a strong relationship with God! I want someone who has everything he needs and will give it up if god calls him to! just like I would! And you know what, a man like that will want a woman like me, he won't be intimidated by it he will be attracted to it, he will appreciate it. Honestly, I'm embarrassed I was ever weak enough to hold myself back, to hide my passion for Christ, maybe not completely but hiding that at all is too much, I'm embarrassed I ever listened enough to those well meaning people to change for one second... If you're someone who has said any of those things to someone, please never say it again, we get it, you feel bad, you're trying to make us feel better but just say " be yourself and the right person for you will come" that will make us feel better.  And if you're like me and you've listened to any of those words, don't change a thing, don't dumb it down, don't change the way you dress or act or pray or love, grow and be proud of that growth! This Valentines Day be yourself and be proud of that, you can't attract the right person for you if you're hiding who you really are!

Lastly, the favorite thing I read today... I love my dad but because my parents are divorced we don't talk about the man thing... Haha. I know my dad would do anything for me and wants the best for me but I don't think he would involve himself in that aspect of my life.. So sometimes I feel unguided in that area... There's something about a dad's view and protection when it comes to their daughters relationships (future or present) and that's always been something I've felt I've missed out on... This helped and if you're that girl I thought you should read this too. If you're a dad, you should pattern after Him...