New Year, New Me - Final Comments

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons – I know this seems like a contradiction to the previous "stop" but it's not, you can't hold yourself back worrying you're not ready but you also can't rush into something you can't handle... Listen, I get it, I know you don't want to be alone, neither do I. But when I look at myself a year ago when I thought I was ready for a relationship and would make the perfect little wifey I realize I wasn't even close... God had so much changes for me to go through, so many things I needed to realize and even more I had to either accept or change instead of internally complaining about. Relationships must be chosen wisely, even if it's just friends humans are creatures of influence... Even leaders are influenced by the people around them. When people move forward with actions that surprise us and we think "that's not like them!" it's probably not like them, but it's like the company they keep and now it is becoming like them. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company because when you keep bad company you eventually become bad company.

There’s no need to rush, sometimes the solitary moments in life, although not our favorite, are exactly what we need to make us into better companions. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work – If I made you a list of why I shouldn't trust people the entire earth would run out of paper, okay, maybe not quite that long but it is lengthy... The thing is, just because my dad left my mum when she was trying her best doesn't mean I'm going to be left... Just because every guy I've been in relationship with thus far cheated doesn't mean the next one will... All those experiences are meant for in life are lessons. Bad relationship experiences teach us to make wiser decisions, teach us to forgive... not only the person who walked out or hurt us but to forgive ourselves... And if you allow yourself to see it, failed relationships even when we were trying our best sometimes teach us that it's not always about us... Sometimes the guy was just a jerk, and sometimes he's not a jerk he just wasn't ready and we tried to make him ready in our minds. In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, all are meant to somehow bring out the best & strongest parts in you. I heard a quote on Dr. Phil the other day that I LOVE "Relationship rejection is God's protection." So just accept it for what it is and move forward.

Stop trying to compete against everyone else – You're meant to be one thing and one thing only... And if you keep dragging yourself down and bending over backwards comparing yourself to others you will never be what you are destined to become! Do you even know what it is yet? I can tell you but first let me say if you don't know what you're about to read next, you've been comparing yourself and competing with others too much... STOP! You are meant to be yourself. I know, deep right? Well it sort of is, and that little lesson was hard for me to learn but it's changed my life... I always wanted to be like my sister, I wanted to dress like her, sing like her, act and talk like her... But the thing is, when I was practicing being like my sister I wasn't being myself... And if I'm not being myself then the people who are meant to be with me won't be attracted to me and I will be in a world created by me where I don't fit in. So BE YOURSELF, whoever that is and if you don't know who it is yet, that's okay too just be the parts of yourself you know to be and the rest will follow!

Stop being jealous of others – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Bobby down the street may have a nicer house, better looking spouse and a car you would almost die to have but Bobby also has higher bills than you that no family really can afford, that great looking spouse is actually sneaking over to Allison's house when no one is looking and the to-die-for car is in the repair shop at least twice a month. Remember you may be faced with your own flaws and disappointments everyday and never truly see the "real story" behind the one you're comparing yourself to. Society has learned to paste on a smile and brag about quantity of possession instead of owning their emotion and working for quality of life. A good quote to remember is what I want to end with (see below)... We must get this business of self on the go this year.  So that's what my "new year's resolution" will be... Nothing specific but to better myself.  Who's with me?